...is that what I sound like? As someone who shamelessly sings loudly in the car (and maaaybe even along to a Spice Girls Greatest Hits CD that she bought on a whim at Victoria's Secret), and subjects many of her loved ones to endless talking and occasional made-up songs about any old thing, I must say that today I have been given pause. We are in the process of getting a new phone system at work, which will be nice because I have a feeling it will mean that my job will end up being less secretarial than it currently is/has been, but annoying in that it has not *instantly* worked and solved all the world's (or the office's) problems. Today I had to set up my voicemail and recorded name for the directory, and in order to verify everything, I had to listen to myself recite the Professional-Sounding Greeting and my name. And, can I say? I'm sorry! I had no idea that I sounded like that. I sound every bit like the California born-and-bred, former sorority girl that I am. And for that, I apologize. Having to listen to myself in any recorded form makes me cringe, hard.
Anyone else have this issue? Am I just crazy?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Because I am captivating...
...and love lists, you get this... This is what happens when I am left to my own devices with memes. Multiple posts in a day, much to everyone's chagrin.
Corona, Smirnoff or Bud light?
Corona, Smirnoff, and Bud Light, in that order. I could deal with Corona only, as Smirnoff isn't my preferred vodka (and I'm not 16, so the wine cooler is out), and I ma too old to be foolish enough to drink Bud Light. It's Bad Beer, people!
Buy, Borrow, or Lease:
Buy clothes and things you really need (or that appeal to you so much that they beg to be bought), borrow books from the library (because, hello? It's free! I love me some library books), and lease an apartment in the Bay Area, because I am not Rockefeller.
Ford, Chevy, or Dodge:
This will make me sound like a terrible person, but you must know-- I can't get behind American cars in any big way. This probably makes me a Communist or something, but when America makes a car that is of compelling enough quality, I will be interested. Until then, I will feel guilty about driving my gas-guzzling Jetta.
Email, Telephone, or Letter?
I love, but don't send (or receive!) enough (personal, not work) emails. Letters are up there, too, because stationery is generally adorable, but I swear if you call me I will probably not answer. I have grown to hate the phone, I don't know why.
California, New York, or Florida?
Ha. California. Everything they say about us is true, and that still makes us better than NY and FL-- though I do love to visit GP's family in NY.
Kisses on the Neck, Stomach, or Ears?
Mmm, neck. Because if you try to do anything near my ears, I will cut you. Seriously, it is not ok with me. Not even a little bit.
Morning, Afternoon, or Night?
Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon, Friday night. Man, I hate Thursday.
Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween:
Christmas. Not loving turkey, and the candy only makes the neighbor kids more cracked-out.
Coke, Pepsi, or Sprite:
Diet Coke Plus! I love that I can feel like I'm being healthy while I drink soda. Also, I am stupidly excited to visit the World of Coke when we make our trip to the south next month.
Dogs, Cats, or Hamsters:
Dogs, although cats are a close second. I love dogs pretty much unconditionally, but it really depends on the cat in question.
Beach, Mountains, or Desert:
Beach it is, but I am fanatical about sand getting everywhere. People getting married on the beach seems so crazy-making to me.
Cookies, Cake, or Brownies:
Cupcakes! The cutest of the baked goods.
March, July, or October:
March! Hello, basketball...
Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner?
Lunch, even though I don't like to make meals compete for my affection.
Giver, Sharer, or Keeper:
Giver. My egotistical side would like you to know that gift-selecting/giving is one of my real-life superpowers.
Eyes, Nose, or Mouth:
Eyes
Friends that lie, Enemies that pretend to be your friend, or Alone:
...and this is how we know that this was originally composed by a high schooler. Alone, I suppose. Which is oddly indicative of much of my high school experience.
But there's more!
Hi, my name is: Megan
But you can call me: Megan (Please don't nickname me. Just don't.)
Never in my life have I: spent a night in a European country that isn't England. This will change, though, in June!
The one person who can drive me nuts is: whoa, whoa, whoa...one? Have we "met"? Am I not often crazy-irritable? I suppose the greatest embodiment of this characteristic that's actually in my life is my mom, and that's probably because we're really similar.
My high school is: luckily, a distant memory.
When I’m nervous: I talk really fast and plentifully. Got me in a ton of trouble when I was younger.
The last song I listened to was: Cal's fight song, which I will readily admit that UCLA stole (and improved).
If I were to get married right now it would be to: umm...GP? Or whatever white-slave owner is forcing me into marriage. It's not really in the cards at present, but that doesn't mean I'm not obsessing over thinking about it.
My hair is: straight. That's its only trick.
When I was 4: it was 1987. The Simpsons showed up on The Tracey Ullman Show. It was a pretty rad time.
Last Christmas: I didn't even have to get out of my pajamas. In a word, awesome.
I should be: fast-forwarding through these commercials so I can get to more basketball!
When I look down I see: only four pairs of shoes on the living room floor! Yeah, turns out I'm not very good at putting things away.
The happiest recent event was: thinking that today would be the last day of running the current study at work, and that we'd get to take a one-day break. Thanks a lot, No-Show Lady.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’: I've been (pretty accurately) described as 50% Monica, 40% Rachel, and 10% Phoebe.
By this time next year: I will be a for-realsies grad student!
My current gripe is: people not showing up for shit that they were soooo antsy to schedule. Seriously, she sent me an email with one of those URGENT!!!1! exclamation points (which, lady, you don't know my priorities, and if you did, you'd know you aren't one) demanding to be scheduled.
I have a hard time understanding: Mandarin. Or, for that matter, most languages that I "don't speak."
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my Mom! Because I am a Nerd.
I want to buy: a tank of gas for less than $40. Or a bike.
Where do you plan to visit: well, we're going to Atlanta and then Charleston for a wedding in April...then NY and Paris in June! Yaaaaay.
If you spent the night at my house: you would have your pick of two foldout beds! Yes, The Apartment is a magical place.
The world could do without: Ann Coulter.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: groceries. True story.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: Mexican food!
My middle name is: Elise, which I'm pretty sure that my parents thought would be a good idea because of Family Ties. Better than One Day at a Time, I suppose.
In the morning I: usually wake up before my alarm, which is infuriating.
Last night I was: eating dinner after 9pm. Thanks, work.
There’s this guy I know who: takes out my garbage and lets me smell his face after he shaves. He's delicious.
If I was an animal I’d be a: housecat, doing things that could be photographed and hilariously captioned.
A better name for me would be: ...
Tomorrow I am: working all the livelong day and watching the Pac-10 tournament
Tonight I am: watching the Pac-10 tournament!
My birthday is: December 2. I expect birthday greetings now, y'all!
You got this from: Angeltwin
Corona, Smirnoff or Bud light?
Corona, Smirnoff, and Bud Light, in that order. I could deal with Corona only, as Smirnoff isn't my preferred vodka (and I'm not 16, so the wine cooler is out), and I ma too old to be foolish enough to drink Bud Light. It's Bad Beer, people!
Buy, Borrow, or Lease:
Buy clothes and things you really need (or that appeal to you so much that they beg to be bought), borrow books from the library (because, hello? It's free! I love me some library books), and lease an apartment in the Bay Area, because I am not Rockefeller.
Ford, Chevy, or Dodge:
This will make me sound like a terrible person, but you must know-- I can't get behind American cars in any big way. This probably makes me a Communist or something, but when America makes a car that is of compelling enough quality, I will be interested. Until then, I will feel guilty about driving my gas-guzzling Jetta.
Email, Telephone, or Letter?
I love, but don't send (or receive!) enough (personal, not work) emails. Letters are up there, too, because stationery is generally adorable, but I swear if you call me I will probably not answer. I have grown to hate the phone, I don't know why.
California, New York, or Florida?
Ha. California. Everything they say about us is true, and that still makes us better than NY and FL-- though I do love to visit GP's family in NY.
Kisses on the Neck, Stomach, or Ears?
Mmm, neck. Because if you try to do anything near my ears, I will cut you. Seriously, it is not ok with me. Not even a little bit.
Morning, Afternoon, or Night?
Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon, Friday night. Man, I hate Thursday.
Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween:
Christmas. Not loving turkey, and the candy only makes the neighbor kids more cracked-out.
Coke, Pepsi, or Sprite:
Diet Coke Plus! I love that I can feel like I'm being healthy while I drink soda. Also, I am stupidly excited to visit the World of Coke when we make our trip to the south next month.
Dogs, Cats, or Hamsters:
Dogs, although cats are a close second. I love dogs pretty much unconditionally, but it really depends on the cat in question.
Beach, Mountains, or Desert:
Beach it is, but I am fanatical about sand getting everywhere. People getting married on the beach seems so crazy-making to me.
Cookies, Cake, or Brownies:
Cupcakes! The cutest of the baked goods.
March, July, or October:
March! Hello, basketball...
Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner?
Lunch, even though I don't like to make meals compete for my affection.
Giver, Sharer, or Keeper:
Giver. My egotistical side would like you to know that gift-selecting/giving is one of my real-life superpowers.
Eyes, Nose, or Mouth:
Eyes
Friends that lie, Enemies that pretend to be your friend, or Alone:
...and this is how we know that this was originally composed by a high schooler. Alone, I suppose. Which is oddly indicative of much of my high school experience.
But there's more!
Hi, my name is: Megan
But you can call me: Megan (Please don't nickname me. Just don't.)
Never in my life have I: spent a night in a European country that isn't England. This will change, though, in June!
The one person who can drive me nuts is: whoa, whoa, whoa...one? Have we "met"? Am I not often crazy-irritable? I suppose the greatest embodiment of this characteristic that's actually in my life is my mom, and that's probably because we're really similar.
My high school is: luckily, a distant memory.
When I’m nervous: I talk really fast and plentifully. Got me in a ton of trouble when I was younger.
The last song I listened to was: Cal's fight song, which I will readily admit that UCLA stole (and improved).
If I were to get married right now it would be to: umm...GP? Or whatever white-slave owner is forcing me into marriage. It's not really in the cards at present, but that doesn't mean I'm not obsessing over thinking about it.
My hair is: straight. That's its only trick.
When I was 4: it was 1987. The Simpsons showed up on The Tracey Ullman Show. It was a pretty rad time.
Last Christmas: I didn't even have to get out of my pajamas. In a word, awesome.
I should be: fast-forwarding through these commercials so I can get to more basketball!
When I look down I see: only four pairs of shoes on the living room floor! Yeah, turns out I'm not very good at putting things away.
The happiest recent event was: thinking that today would be the last day of running the current study at work, and that we'd get to take a one-day break. Thanks a lot, No-Show Lady.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’: I've been (pretty accurately) described as 50% Monica, 40% Rachel, and 10% Phoebe.
By this time next year: I will be a for-realsies grad student!
My current gripe is: people not showing up for shit that they were soooo antsy to schedule. Seriously, she sent me an email with one of those URGENT!!!1! exclamation points (which, lady, you don't know my priorities, and if you did, you'd know you aren't one) demanding to be scheduled.
I have a hard time understanding: Mandarin. Or, for that matter, most languages that I "don't speak."
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my Mom! Because I am a Nerd.
I want to buy: a tank of gas for less than $40. Or a bike.
Where do you plan to visit: well, we're going to Atlanta and then Charleston for a wedding in April...then NY and Paris in June! Yaaaaay.
If you spent the night at my house: you would have your pick of two foldout beds! Yes, The Apartment is a magical place.
The world could do without: Ann Coulter.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: groceries. True story.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: Mexican food!
My middle name is: Elise, which I'm pretty sure that my parents thought would be a good idea because of Family Ties. Better than One Day at a Time, I suppose.
In the morning I: usually wake up before my alarm, which is infuriating.
Last night I was: eating dinner after 9pm. Thanks, work.
There’s this guy I know who: takes out my garbage and lets me smell his face after he shaves. He's delicious.
If I was an animal I’d be a: housecat, doing things that could be photographed and hilariously captioned.
A better name for me would be: ...
Tomorrow I am: working all the livelong day and watching the Pac-10 tournament
Tonight I am: watching the Pac-10 tournament!
My birthday is: December 2. I expect birthday greetings now, y'all!
You got this from: Angeltwin
Oblong dough blobs invade apartment!
...and I eat them (or portions of them) for dinner. After having an obscene amount of delicious Mexican food for lunch (on The Boss, as a "thank you" for some previous projects, as I am currently in the perpetual hell of rescheduling and having to stalk Actual Adults Who Have Made Appointments But Don't Show Up for another project), I needed something simple, and preferably not enormous, for dinner. GP is doing thesis/project things, so there was no need to do anything exceptionally meaty (I could take or leave most of it, but do not have the will or willpower for vegetarianism), and I had some of that pizza-dough-in-an-exploding-biscuit-tube in the fridge. Do you know what I'm talking about? It comes in this paper-wrapped cylinder, and you unwrap and pop it open, then unfurl the dough and have your way with it. It's super-easy to work with, probably full of preservatives and unhealthy shit, but it's Wednesday, and it's all I can do not to have microwave popcorn for dinner. At any rate, since the cylinder had "33% more!" dough in it, I divided it in half, loaded them with fillings, and popped them into the oven for less than 15 minutes. What emerged was pretty amazing, given the amount of energy, resources, and time required.
Witness:
Not terribly attractive, I know, but pretty tasty. This one has sun-dried tomato and olive tomato sauce, mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni (which is shockingly much better for you than regular, and I'm willing to bet that there are fewer ingredients of the "lips and assholes" variety that are present in the beef/pork variety).
And its friend:
Which has pesto, feta, and sun-dried tomatoes in it, with some parmesan sprinkled over the top. Yes, I am aware that my photography/kitchen lighting is atrocious, but I had to share my delicious dinner creation with the internets. You're welcome... :-)
What was your best dinner creation ever?
Dear Today Show...
Dear Today Show,
To borrow a phrase from our friend Stephen Colbert, you are officially On Notice. From that baby that you claim knows how to read, to Laura Schlessinger talking about women driving their husbands to cheat, to asking Jim Cramer, a FINANCIAL expert, about his friendship with Elliot Spitzer, your segments this week have been even more grating than usual. It's bad enough that I have to watch Meredith Vieira forget that she's now on a more "legitimate" morning show than The View (please, let's not get me started on Elisabeth Hasselbeck), but now I have to watch this baby, who is really more "local news" material (I need to see some corroborating studies, please!), too? I love babies and all, and do think that infidelity is wrong, and can understand that we might want to know, in an inappropriate and slightly voyeuristic way, what Jim Cramer thinks of what his friend did, but I have a sense of decorum. Today Show, I love your dramatic opening music, and I love that my DVR allows me to start you a little late, so I can watch your longest (and most actual-news-related) segment before I leave for work in the morning. But if you continue in this manner, and if I have to look at Drew Peterson's ugly, young-wife-killing mug one (or a couple) more time(s), I'm going to be forced to listen to Morning Edition instead. Don't make me be more of a yuppie than I already am, mmkay?
Regards,
Megan
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Lolcats Sunday! Also, I want my hour back.
First, this...
And also, as mentioned before, I want my hour back! I had to pick up GP at the SJ airport last night, which was less than a 30-minute round trip, but confused my body enough, nevermind the daylight savings business. I took a weird nap in the middle of the afternoon today, and will probably have at least a little trouble falling asleep tonight. Lame, but at least my roommate is back.
Off to mom and stepdad's for some of Giada's braciole! I'm pretty excited, even though I'm not the biggest fan of le red meat.
And also, as mentioned before, I want my hour back! I had to pick up GP at the SJ airport last night, which was less than a 30-minute round trip, but confused my body enough, nevermind the daylight savings business. I took a weird nap in the middle of the afternoon today, and will probably have at least a little trouble falling asleep tonight. Lame, but at least my roommate is back.
Off to mom and stepdad's for some of Giada's braciole! I'm pretty excited, even though I'm not the biggest fan of le red meat.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Carrots and Sticks (or, How I Managed to Do Work and Recap SNL Simultaneously)
Ok, so I'm officially a week behind on my big self-imposed project of recapping SNL for the benefit of the internets, but it's because I'm buried under a mountain of tests that we're running at work! There are three going on right now, one of which we just (finally!) wrapped up actively testing, which involved forty people. My task now (well, one of them) is to get all the business they wrote down and said into a nice, neat Excel file, so no one has to look through a huge stack of papers but me. So, in order to kill two birds with one stone (and one of the birds in this case is decidedly less of a pain in my ass), I have devised a Genius Plan: I will enter some data, and recap a little. Then I will go back to the stupid data, and when I have entered some more, I will allow myself to go back to recapping. Sounds easy enough, but we'll see. Masochist that I am, I have elected to begin entering data first-- at least I'll get to do it on my PC laptop here at home, rather than my work Mac, which does not like to work with Excel in any attractive way.
(Only 18 more to go! I will allow myself at least the cold open and monologue.)
Second week in a row of a "Decision '08" cold open? If you say so, show. Let's see how this goes. Will Forte, you are no Brian Williams (great impression, though). How awesome would it be if they got actual Brian Williams to do one of these sketches? I know he hosted recently, and my love for Brian really knows no bounds. I need to see him on weekends, too! Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert...who is sometimes quite the caricature of himself anyway. Yes, political debates, especially regarding healthcare, can be a bit...dry, to say the least. Which is a little sad, considering what a critical issue it is. "Sweet Georgia Brown," indeed, Fake Brian. I know that Hillary Clinton herself will be having a cameo sometime in this episode, so I think that she must have some sort of sense of humor, after being called not only aggressive, relentless, and demanding, but also annoying, pushy, grating, bossy, shrill, and unpleasant in the beginning of the show. Not sure I love Fred Armisen's Obama... My attention is being lost, even though I think really everyone is giving their best impersonation here-- just not the best writing. We get it! The media loves Obama! Hillary can be a bit grating at times! It's...not that funny. Ooh, Law and Order "bomp-bomp"! And Vincent D'Onofrio, who is in my least favorite series of the franchise, CI. "...not a joke." You're telling me.
Oh! There she is! I have to say, even though I voted for Obama, I still think Hillary Clinton is a pretty amazing woman. I saw her speak in DC when I was in college for a rally/event, and got more than a little misty because it was such a politically charged moment. Whether or not you disagree with her tactics or policies, you have to admit that it's pretty freakin' amazing that we have a legitimate woman in the race for a party's nomination for President (that's the reason I can't absolutely loathe Elizabeth Dole, so it does work both ways). The "I love your outfit" exchange reminds me of the "Janet Reno Dance Party" exchange between Will Ferrell and Janet Reno, with the, "I like your dress, Janet...I like your dress, too, Janet." (See? I have been watching this show forever!)Hillary's laugh, though? Really terrible. But at least she can...laugh about it?
Ellen Page. Adorable, loved her in Juno. I'm interested to see how she fares in sketch comedy, and wondering if she can break out of the "quippy and quirky" mold. She does it well, but I want something else. First impression-- this is shallow, but I like her hair! It's the first time I've seen it down in maybe forever. Very nice. Her mannerisms coupled with the leather jacket are a little Fonzie, though. Andy Samberg as Diablo Cody...not as inaccurate as you might think. That Diablo is one tall drink of water.
(Ok, back to work now...)
Back! I realize some of the effect of my back-and-forthing is lost by doing this all as one post, but liveblogging this would be even stupider. Get excited, though, because I only have 12 more to go! This is totally a big deal.
The Dakota Fanning Show! Please tell me this will involve EP dressed as a small child-- for some reason, the concept is hilarious to me. Also, when will Dakota Fanning be too old to be considered precocious? The shrug-and-arm-flail is pretty off-putting... And ooh, I want to see Persepolis. "Dakota Fanning" talks to real kids in Rockefeller Center about global political issues, David Lynch movies, John Updike, and Bonjour Tristesse. This is about as funny as is sounds, which is not very. YES! EP as Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, who is sublimely annoying. There is much hyperventilatory conversation, and a mention of Aeolian wind harp solos, which I don't think would be possible, right? Don't they just sit there in the window, sounding at the wind's whim? Sorry about the alliteration. Also, about this sketch.
Saturday TV Funhouse brings us...The Obama Files. Cartoon Obama talks to Cartoon Jesse Jackson in a janitor's closet, where Cartoon Jesse produces 100 rhymes for "change." Cartoon Brian Williams is struck by a blow dart when Cartoon Al Sharpton comes to talk to Cartoon Obama, and Al recounts his misadventures in eastern Paraguay and is outfitted with a dog's shock collar. I die a little inside, because, you guys? This is pretty lame.
Ellen Page and Kristen Wiig are...secretaries? In a wood-paneled office. Fred Armisen steps into the foreground to tell us about The College For Excellence, which is sometimes where I think I should have gone, with all the big bucks and job satisfaction that my English degree is bringing me. The College for Excellence, by the way, is located above a Korean Savings Bank, so that's how you know it's good-- I bet that bank takes care of all the student loans for the CoE! I wish I knew high-class business terminology. Stupid UCLA. The high-class business terminology, also, consists of phrases like, "I sent that mass email, and I cc'd everybody." This sketch is pretty solid and reminds me some corporate jargon flashcards I saw and almost bought once Low-hanging fruit, anyone?
Next week (or tonight, whatever), we have Amy Adams! And Vampire Weekend, which is something I assume the kids are listening to nowadays. It is hilarious to hear Don Pardo say the name of the band, though...
Back to work! (...guys, I'm almost done! Yay! Take that, pile of papers!)
The Other Boleyn Girl parody sketch. Has anyone seen this movie? I do love me some English history! Anne Boleyn likes riding steeds, but I don't think she's talking about horses. Dirty! Her sister is a bit of a hussy, and is less skilled at the double entendre. Kristen Wiig shows up as the "Other-Other" (and unibrowed) Boleyn girl, and it gets a little silly--and that's when the fourth sister shows up, and the fifth (a veritable Nubian princess). This sketch is lame, and, fortunately, pretty brief.
SNL Digital Short! Yay! Previous shorts include Lazy Sunday, Dick in a Box, and Laser Cats, so I expect something pretty great. Then again, I couldn't stand "Dear Sister." Sorry. Ellen Page awakens with a start, and wanders into her bathroom to take some aspirin. She's startled by...Andy Samberg as a developmentally delayed mime? In her bathroom mirror. He pops up a couple times in quick succession, holding a tropical drink with an umbrella in it, licking a lollipop, and doing some quick reps with what look like 5-pound weights. In that last pop-up, he looked a little like "Let's Get Physical"-era Olivia Newton John. Was it all a dream? Ellen sits up in bed, again, goes into the bathroom, and the not-mime is on the toilet, reading the paper. Come on, SNL, what are you? Mad TV? The not-mime, in the next scene, awakens with a start, takes some aspirin, and is startled by EP. They then wake up with a start next to each other, and touch fingers in an ET sort of way. Dracula and his wife/girlfriend are there, as is a werewolf. Everyone's very startled, and this sketch is no Dick in a Box. But at least it's not Dear Sister.
Wilco plays, and I like them and all, but you know what happens to musical guests on TiVo. Bleep-bloop!
Weekend Update! Love. We're "not" going to be in a recession, beef has been recalled, Obama isn't really a Muslim, and McCain made a poor choice of opening speakers. Virgin Atlantic did the first biofueled flight, which seems cool, and Rudy Giuliani shows up! Remember when he wanted to be president? That was a strange time. Let's not pretend that he ever had a snowball's chance of getting that nomination. Bugs are a good source of protein, western states are 500% dustier than they were 200 years ago, and Mike Bloomberg is trying to establish oyster beds in NYC waterways... Naps are important! But 6 minutes? Child's play. Fred Armisen is Nicholas Fehn, political comedian-- one who manages not to be very funny at all, like many political comedians. This makes me yearn for Cinders Calhoun, in the Lilith Fair era...some special guests are more special than others, you know.
TiVo says there are about 30 minutes left, so I think that means I have to finish my work and then come back...I have high hopes for that last 30 minutes, however foolish that might be.
Ahh! I just finished with my big stack of papers! But I also realized that there's a basketball game that I have to get through on the TiVo before I leave to watch yet more basketball with my dad. Sorry, SNL. We'll catch up tomorrow, probably.
*There will be linkage added for a little color and interest, but honestly...basketball! Sorry, internets, you lose.
(Only 18 more to go! I will allow myself at least the cold open and monologue.)
Second week in a row of a "Decision '08" cold open? If you say so, show. Let's see how this goes. Will Forte, you are no Brian Williams (great impression, though). How awesome would it be if they got actual Brian Williams to do one of these sketches? I know he hosted recently, and my love for Brian really knows no bounds. I need to see him on weekends, too! Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert...who is sometimes quite the caricature of himself anyway. Yes, political debates, especially regarding healthcare, can be a bit...dry, to say the least. Which is a little sad, considering what a critical issue it is. "Sweet Georgia Brown," indeed, Fake Brian. I know that Hillary Clinton herself will be having a cameo sometime in this episode, so I think that she must have some sort of sense of humor, after being called not only aggressive, relentless, and demanding, but also annoying, pushy, grating, bossy, shrill, and unpleasant in the beginning of the show. Not sure I love Fred Armisen's Obama... My attention is being lost, even though I think really everyone is giving their best impersonation here-- just not the best writing. We get it! The media loves Obama! Hillary can be a bit grating at times! It's...not that funny. Ooh, Law and Order "bomp-bomp"! And Vincent D'Onofrio, who is in my least favorite series of the franchise, CI. "...not a joke." You're telling me.
Oh! There she is! I have to say, even though I voted for Obama, I still think Hillary Clinton is a pretty amazing woman. I saw her speak in DC when I was in college for a rally/event, and got more than a little misty because it was such a politically charged moment. Whether or not you disagree with her tactics or policies, you have to admit that it's pretty freakin' amazing that we have a legitimate woman in the race for a party's nomination for President (that's the reason I can't absolutely loathe Elizabeth Dole, so it does work both ways). The "I love your outfit" exchange reminds me of the "Janet Reno Dance Party" exchange between Will Ferrell and Janet Reno, with the, "I like your dress, Janet...I like your dress, too, Janet." (See? I have been watching this show forever!)Hillary's laugh, though? Really terrible. But at least she can...laugh about it?
Ellen Page. Adorable, loved her in Juno. I'm interested to see how she fares in sketch comedy, and wondering if she can break out of the "quippy and quirky" mold. She does it well, but I want something else. First impression-- this is shallow, but I like her hair! It's the first time I've seen it down in maybe forever. Very nice. Her mannerisms coupled with the leather jacket are a little Fonzie, though. Andy Samberg as Diablo Cody...not as inaccurate as you might think. That Diablo is one tall drink of water.
(Ok, back to work now...)
Back! I realize some of the effect of my back-and-forthing is lost by doing this all as one post, but liveblogging this would be even stupider. Get excited, though, because I only have 12 more to go! This is totally a big deal.
The Dakota Fanning Show! Please tell me this will involve EP dressed as a small child-- for some reason, the concept is hilarious to me. Also, when will Dakota Fanning be too old to be considered precocious? The shrug-and-arm-flail is pretty off-putting... And ooh, I want to see Persepolis. "Dakota Fanning" talks to real kids in Rockefeller Center about global political issues, David Lynch movies, John Updike, and Bonjour Tristesse. This is about as funny as is sounds, which is not very. YES! EP as Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, who is sublimely annoying. There is much hyperventilatory conversation, and a mention of Aeolian wind harp solos, which I don't think would be possible, right? Don't they just sit there in the window, sounding at the wind's whim? Sorry about the alliteration. Also, about this sketch.
Saturday TV Funhouse brings us...The Obama Files. Cartoon Obama talks to Cartoon Jesse Jackson in a janitor's closet, where Cartoon Jesse produces 100 rhymes for "change." Cartoon Brian Williams is struck by a blow dart when Cartoon Al Sharpton comes to talk to Cartoon Obama, and Al recounts his misadventures in eastern Paraguay and is outfitted with a dog's shock collar. I die a little inside, because, you guys? This is pretty lame.
Ellen Page and Kristen Wiig are...secretaries? In a wood-paneled office. Fred Armisen steps into the foreground to tell us about The College For Excellence, which is sometimes where I think I should have gone, with all the big bucks and job satisfaction that my English degree is bringing me. The College for Excellence, by the way, is located above a Korean Savings Bank, so that's how you know it's good-- I bet that bank takes care of all the student loans for the CoE! I wish I knew high-class business terminology. Stupid UCLA. The high-class business terminology, also, consists of phrases like, "I sent that mass email, and I cc'd everybody." This sketch is pretty solid and reminds me some corporate jargon flashcards I saw and almost bought once Low-hanging fruit, anyone?
Next week (or tonight, whatever), we have Amy Adams! And Vampire Weekend, which is something I assume the kids are listening to nowadays. It is hilarious to hear Don Pardo say the name of the band, though...
Back to work! (...guys, I'm almost done! Yay! Take that, pile of papers!)
The Other Boleyn Girl parody sketch. Has anyone seen this movie? I do love me some English history! Anne Boleyn likes riding steeds, but I don't think she's talking about horses. Dirty! Her sister is a bit of a hussy, and is less skilled at the double entendre. Kristen Wiig shows up as the "Other-Other" (and unibrowed) Boleyn girl, and it gets a little silly--and that's when the fourth sister shows up, and the fifth (a veritable Nubian princess). This sketch is lame, and, fortunately, pretty brief.
SNL Digital Short! Yay! Previous shorts include Lazy Sunday, Dick in a Box, and Laser Cats, so I expect something pretty great. Then again, I couldn't stand "Dear Sister." Sorry. Ellen Page awakens with a start, and wanders into her bathroom to take some aspirin. She's startled by...Andy Samberg as a developmentally delayed mime? In her bathroom mirror. He pops up a couple times in quick succession, holding a tropical drink with an umbrella in it, licking a lollipop, and doing some quick reps with what look like 5-pound weights. In that last pop-up, he looked a little like "Let's Get Physical"-era Olivia Newton John. Was it all a dream? Ellen sits up in bed, again, goes into the bathroom, and the not-mime is on the toilet, reading the paper. Come on, SNL, what are you? Mad TV? The not-mime, in the next scene, awakens with a start, takes some aspirin, and is startled by EP. They then wake up with a start next to each other, and touch fingers in an ET sort of way. Dracula and his wife/girlfriend are there, as is a werewolf. Everyone's very startled, and this sketch is no Dick in a Box. But at least it's not Dear Sister.
Wilco plays, and I like them and all, but you know what happens to musical guests on TiVo. Bleep-bloop!
Weekend Update! Love. We're "not" going to be in a recession, beef has been recalled, Obama isn't really a Muslim, and McCain made a poor choice of opening speakers. Virgin Atlantic did the first biofueled flight, which seems cool, and Rudy Giuliani shows up! Remember when he wanted to be president? That was a strange time. Let's not pretend that he ever had a snowball's chance of getting that nomination. Bugs are a good source of protein, western states are 500% dustier than they were 200 years ago, and Mike Bloomberg is trying to establish oyster beds in NYC waterways... Naps are important! But 6 minutes? Child's play. Fred Armisen is Nicholas Fehn, political comedian-- one who manages not to be very funny at all, like many political comedians. This makes me yearn for Cinders Calhoun, in the Lilith Fair era...some special guests are more special than others, you know.
TiVo says there are about 30 minutes left, so I think that means I have to finish my work and then come back...I have high hopes for that last 30 minutes, however foolish that might be.
Ahh! I just finished with my big stack of papers! But I also realized that there's a basketball game that I have to get through on the TiVo before I leave to watch yet more basketball with my dad. Sorry, SNL. We'll catch up tomorrow, probably.
*There will be linkage added for a little color and interest, but honestly...basketball! Sorry, internets, you lose.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Allow me to present...
...your three-times-in-a-row Pac-10 regular season champs, and all-around wonderful boys, the UCLA Bruins men's basketball team! And yes, Kevin, I can learn to live with your nasty facial hair if you'll promise to stay until you win me a national championship. Do we have a deal? It was a bright spot in my day that consisted of continuing to freak out over apartment construction, work/recruiting difficulties, and the reality of two whole nights spent GP-free (I know, I'm a whiner), and it had me exclaiming and writhing on my couch. Thank god for DVR, because seriously? I would not have been able to watch that thing in real-time.
Now, as I have a Friday night free, and will be working roughly twelve hours before it, are there any suggestions for fun activities? I've been thinking gin and tonics with a side of Project Runway and Lost...and probably some lolcats, too.
P.S. I promise I'll be a little less of a raincloud in a week or so. Things are just a little sucky right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
