Divorce, marriage...and tv

I was twelve-- nearly thirteen-- when my parents divorced. When they sat down with me and my brother on the deck of our house, whatever warm late-summer evening it might have been, telling us that they had decided to end their marriage after seventeen years, I was not surprised. More than anything, I was relieved. I'm sure there was a time when my parents liked each other, probably even loved each other, but that time had since passed, and now my dad had taken to sleeping on the couch. It was upsetting to watch them constantly be at each others' throats, and worse yet that the arguments managed to continue even after they weren't even in the same place-- there was a lot of under-the-breath commenting in the laundry room, in the car on the way to school, as one watered the lawn and the other, each just wanting out.

I write these things, of course, from the perspective of someone who has lived roughly half of her life with divorced parents. And I will repeat-- I was relieved. I knew, even then, that the marriage wasn't making either of them happy, and that it was beyond the point of being salvaged. I was relieved then and feel pretty lucky now that everything that followed went the way it did: my dad moved out, but never missed an opportunity to be around for me and my brother; my mom eventually remarried a man who makes her happy and truly cares about us, all of us, as a family; my once-broken and now reformed (mutated?) family that includes me, my mom, my dad, my stepdad, my brother, and a stepsister, regularly splits holidays and attends special events together, with no ruffled feathers or raised voices. I am incredibly lucky.

As GP and I move closer and closer to our wedding date, I am thinking more and more about the ideas I was presented about love and marriage growing up: love is a leap of faith, and marriage requires constant attention and nurturing. We are not religious people, GP and I, but we believe in love as if it were a prayer, an altar, a relic. I am not daunted by what my parents went through-- I am hopeful that I have learned the lessons available to me on both what to do and what not to do. I will be the wife that I want and need to be...minus the occasional disagreement over taking out the trash (boy chore!) or washing the dishes as a team (just leave me alone, it gets done faster that way!).
_________________________________________________________________

And yes, of course I have to comment on the media-saturated divorce of Jon and Kate (of "Plus Eight" fame). I became a fan within the last year, but loved to watch all! those! cute! kids! Also, sometimes Kate would remind me of my mom, all Type-A and whatnot. It was easy to see how their marriage would be challenging-- twins before even a couple years of marriage, and eight children before either of them was thirty would be enough to drive any couple apart. It was hard to watch last night's "special announcement" (which-- come on, there is the internet now, how are we possibly going to be surprised by this news?) episode because, in separate interviews, neither of them took any of the responsibility. "I'm here for the kids," each said. And me? Well, Jon and Kate, I am here to call bullshit. I would have loved to have seen them at least attempt to talk about their problems together (hey, like grownups!), and am sort of dreading the episode when they tell the kids about it (you know it's coming! It's going to be awful!). Did you watch? What did you think?

Summer adventure!

Summer cooking is a tenuous topic in our house-- GP has some sort of hereditary mandate to be constantly on top of the temperature of the apartment, and as such is pretty grumpy about some of my cooking methods. Coupled with the fact that we are not allowed to use the perfectly good grill that occupies a good quarter of our balcony (stupid county fire code!), this means that I have to be pretty crafty about our summer dinner menus. Enter an old friend-- Whip It Up! You may remember that, last summer, a sizable group of bloggers began the challenge of cooking and sharing meals...and it's coming around again! Details? I has them.

This year's challenge will run from June 28 to August 22, and just in case you've slept since last year's challenge, here's a reminder of the rules!

• Cook! Each week you must cook one "new to you" dish. As we did last year, we will have a theme for each week, however, the themes are a suggestion only. Feel free to run as far as your imagination will take you. The only hard and fast rule remains that you must never have cooked the dish before!

• Post! Post your recipe, a photo and a wrap up on your blog. The post can be as short as you like, just remember the three basic questions. Was the recipe easy to follow? Did the dish taste good? Would you cook it again?

• Email us! Email your permalink to [whippingitup at gmail dot com] so you can be included in the wrap up. Wrap ups will be on Sunday this year instead of Fridays in order to allow everyone to get their entries in.

There will be prizes again this year too! Everyone who successfully completes the challenge will be entered in a raffle to win one of 3 prizes.

So, you guys, even if you haven't before...get in on this! Sign up by June 22 by emailing the address above, and then get to the WIU headquarters to grab a badge, join the photo pool, etc.

Please don't make our names rhyme

May, we hardly knew ye. GP and I agreed at the beginning of May that we had both written the entire month off, due to the planned-since-the-moment-we-were-back-on-American-soil engagement party that his parents were throwing us in New York. The thinking was that, since the bulk of his extended family and all of his parents' colleagues and friends live out there, it would be best to have something near them if we didn't want to end up having a Big Fat Armenian/Italian Wedding (hint: we didn't. Don't. Whatever.) And so it came to be, that when anyone asked us to do anything in May, the idea was almost immediately rejected-- this is how absolutely looming this party was.

And...yes, it totally lived up to our expectations. Because GP's mom can throw a party like nobody's business, it was lovely. Because I had been threatening the weather gods with my unending fury if there was a thunderstorm during our outdoor photo shoot, the weather was sunny, even if the air was full of what I think was tree sperm (in the form of cute little puffs, but still). Because we are fortunate enough to have people that care about us, we had a complete blast. It feels like we had a good practice run for the wedding-- minus ceremony and most of the toasts and dancing (no first dance, no parent dances, etc)-- and now I have some idea what people are talking about when they talk about it going so fast.

We're still awaiting the official pictures (yes, there are those-- and a video. What the hell), and so far the only unofficial pictures are of the most mortifying moment of the whole party (and not a portion of Wedding Day that I am looking forward to)...the cake cutting. Someone explain to me why cutting cake feels so awkward, please!

Now it feels like the wedding is coming up so fast! My dress is here, invitations are ordered, and mom has been put on flower duty (turns out I care very, very little about that aspect of the wedding). Four months and two days...is it honeymoon time yet?

P.S. Re: post title. For some reason, it is very tempting for wedding/engagement party guests to use shortened versions of our names because they rhyme. This is fine for GP-- that's what most people call him, anyway-- but it is awkward for me because no one calls me that, and it happens to be the name of his most recent ex. So...enough with the rhymes, people.

Kentucky Grilled FAIL

After coming home from the internship to write (count 'em) seventeen pages (in Verdana, inclusive of title page, abstract, and references...) about faculty status and tenure for academic librarians (are you asleep yet?), I was in the mood for a dinner that involved: a) minimal work for me, b) ingredients that would potentially be harmful to my cardiovascular health, and c) chicken. Because I like my proteins either in dairy or chicken form. As luck would have it, I had heard that KFC was running a coupon for their new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, and that (with sides included!) fulfilled all of my dinner criteria.

Even after I read this, I was cocky enough to think that it wouldn't happen to me. I offered to download the ridiculous coupon printer thingie and take a screenshot so that GP could print it at work (he's wary of downloads onto Big Computer Company's machines) and pick up dinner on his way home. All I have to say about that is...MASSIVE FAIL. Upon downloading the ridiculous (and completely unnecessary) coupon-printing application, I was told, "Sorry! You have already printed this coupon the number of times allowed." Was the "number of times allowed" ZERO? Why was it so hard to get some chicken?

After calling their customer satisfaction number and getting a busy signal (which, wtf), I resigned myself to sending a scathing email through an online form. This is what the poor bastard who has to read these things will have to go through:

"I tried calling your Customer Satisfaction line, but it was busy. Nice.

I know I am not the first to make this comment (it has been, by this time, widely publicized), but I did want to add my voice to the many complaining about how customer-unfrie

ndly your coupon for free Kentucky Grilled Chicken is. First of all, asking someone to download a "coupon printer" is just ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Second, once someone has downloaded your ridiculous coupon printer, it is reasonable to expect the printer to...you know, function. Instead, I was greeted with a message that told me that I had exceeded the maximum amount of prints allowed for an IP address. Was the maximum zero? Thanks to your huge and needless usability and customer service error, my fiance and I will be having Boston Market tonight, and recommending that our friends fulfill their chicken needs elsewhere."

I know that I am making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary, but come on, KFC. Oprah talked about this-- you had to anticipate some volume. Next time, design a non-shitty way to get people to come in to your store.

Frustration Friday

Fair warning: if you don't want to hear about my wedding problems-that-might-not-be/seem-like-real-problems, you're welcome to skip today's post. I am feeling like Crazy Wedding Lady today, which is extra upsetting because I have been working pretty hard not to be her. At the very least, it's tiring.

Wedding "problem" the first: The Tasting.
The menu that we have chosen for the wedding is what qualifies as "mid-range" at our venue, with passed appetizers during our champagne cocktail hour, whatever salad we end up choosing, four entree choices, and a cake. I love that the cake is included, and it was pretty easy to select what we wanted. I am happy that we will have passed appetizers, so that people can mingle while the reception is being set up (in the same space as our ceremony, so we'll see how that goes). As our date creeps ever closer (163 days, what the hell), I thought it would be a good idea to try to set up a tasting, so I emailed the "new" catering director (the old one had retired, unexpectedly. Maybe there was some sort of catering coup?) to see what we needed to do. She replied to my email, telling me that a tasting could be arranged for two people (rather than the at-least-three that we will need), and that these two people could taste two appetizers and two entrees. Now, I am not a math whiz...but that is half of our total entrees. We are not paying $85 a head for me to have tasted half of the fricking food. When I brought this up in a recent in-person meeting, she said they would "see what they can do." I hope that "what they can do" is let us sample the food we're paying for...or someone is going to get slapped.

Wedding "problem" the second: The Room Block
I was excited to plan the wedding in a hotel, not just because this particular hotel is cool, all historic and art-deco-y, but also for the major convenience factor. Just imagine-- our out-of-town people might not even have to get cars! Ceremony, reception, brunch...all at the same place! How exciting. My stepfather, being an excellent haggler, looked into the rates for blocks of rooms at the hotel back in January, and was quoted two fairly decent prices, one that included breakfast and one that did not. When I inquired a few days ago about the prices (not knowing that StepDan had already asked), I was quoted prices that were...higher. Not astronomical, but...higher. I was also told that all of our guests would have to be at the same rate-- that is, we would have to decide whether all of them would be required to pay the rate that included breakfast, or have to pay $14 per person extra for the breakfast. Now, I have never worked in a hotel, so maybe this is more complicated than I think...but how hard is it to allow people to pay two different rates, that allow for different amenities? I'm sure that regular guests do this all the time, right?

Overarching wedding "problem": Am I a Crazy Person?
My biggest issue (or, if you are as Completely Over Planning Your Wedding as I am, and just want to Be Married and Go On a Honeymoon) is that this woman is in charge of basically my entire wedding day. Sure, we are hiring hair and makeup people, a photographer, a dj/pianist, and a florist, but at the end of the day, she is the Boss of the Space. She could be licking my cake, or cutting off my pigtails while I'm taking a spelling test, or whatever other evil things her mind might come up with. I have worked in customer service, so I get that there is likely a good deal of annoyance with Certain Customers. But I'm trying really hard not to be Certain Customers! I need some consistency, and reasonable accommodation with regard to preliminary wedding stuff. Jebus lady, just let me taste all my food and not charge my flying-across-the-country-in-a-shit-economy guests eleventy billion dollars to eat a breakfast they don't want. Is it possible to assertively ask for the things that I think I reasonably deserve without being seen as Crazy Bitch Bride?

I know you have opinions, internets...lay them on me.

What I am doing today

Sending out about 80 of these puppies...



I guess this means we have to get married now, right?

End-of-semester grace

All right, it's not technically the end of the semester just yet, but I have definitely hit The Wall. You know, where an entire semester seems interminable, and you're exceptionally grateful that the school you attended for undergrad was on the ten-week quarter system? Yeah, that Wall. I have hit it, and I still have about 30 pages worth of papers to write. But...I was an English major, and am fluent in b.s. Time to power through!

As the semester winds down and spring is just beginning (complete with entirely inappropriate 90-degree weather), I'm finding it easier and easier to find those bits of Grace in Small Things. Take, for example...
This is Fluffy. He lives on our bed, and is almost as old as I am. I think GP's mom was kidding when she asked child-GP if he was going to take Fluffy to college and then make his wife sleep with Fluffy, too...however, even as a kid, GP was not joking around when he said "yes." He may be annoyed at me for putting Fluffy on the internets, but I think it is cute and awesome that at least one dog gets to sleep in our bed. (For those of you keeping score at home, Fluffy is currently our only dog. Sigh.) He is a good companion, especially when certain fiances are on multi-day business trips.

I like writing thank-you notes much more than I like writing papers for school, perhaps because they rarely fall into the "10+ pages" category. Short and sweet, with the bonus of getting to use the rest of my "stock" thank-you cards before we break into the supply of wedding-specific thank-yous (which, you guys, match our save-the-dates...and are completely awesome). Few things are as satisfying as slipping a couple of these into the mailbox.

Nothing says spring like some pretty tulips, unless said pretty tulips are brought back from the store by a certain fiance after a lengthy-ish business trip (along with-- you have to squint to make it out-- a case of Diet Mountain Dew Code Red, because the man consumes soda as if his life depended on it). You know...I think I'll keep him. As long as he keeps up this bringing-me-flowers-as-a-Saturday-morning-surprise thing... (Sorry if you just threw up in your mouth a little-- we're getting married, I have to do things like that sometimes.)

Bonus grace: downloaded seasons of How I Met Your Mother! Alyson Hannigan's occasional over-acting aside, I am completely smitten. I know most of you probably already watch this, but if you don't...you should! Though it is weird to watch a show with a laugh track after years of Lost,HBO series, and cooking shows being my regular television diet.