Kentucky Grilled FAIL

After coming home from the internship to write (count 'em) seventeen pages (in Verdana, inclusive of title page, abstract, and references...) about faculty status and tenure for academic librarians (are you asleep yet?), I was in the mood for a dinner that involved: a) minimal work for me, b) ingredients that would potentially be harmful to my cardiovascular health, and c) chicken. Because I like my proteins either in dairy or chicken form. As luck would have it, I had heard that KFC was running a coupon for their new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, and that (with sides included!) fulfilled all of my dinner criteria.

Even after I read this, I was cocky enough to think that it wouldn't happen to me. I offered to download the ridiculous coupon printer thingie and take a screenshot so that GP could print it at work (he's wary of downloads onto Big Computer Company's machines) and pick up dinner on his way home. All I have to say about that is...MASSIVE FAIL. Upon downloading the ridiculous (and completely unnecessary) coupon-printing application, I was told, "Sorry! You have already printed this coupon the number of times allowed." Was the "number of times allowed" ZERO? Why was it so hard to get some chicken?

After calling their customer satisfaction number and getting a busy signal (which, wtf), I resigned myself to sending a scathing email through an online form. This is what the poor bastard who has to read these things will have to go through:

"I tried calling your Customer Satisfaction line, but it was busy. Nice.

I know I am not the first to make this comment (it has been, by this time, widely publicized), but I did want to add my voice to the many complaining about how customer-unfrie

ndly your coupon for free Kentucky Grilled Chicken is. First of all, asking someone to download a "coupon printer" is just ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Second, once someone has downloaded your ridiculous coupon printer, it is reasonable to expect the printer to...you know, function. Instead, I was greeted with a message that told me that I had exceeded the maximum amount of prints allowed for an IP address. Was the maximum zero? Thanks to your huge and needless usability and customer service error, my fiance and I will be having Boston Market tonight, and recommending that our friends fulfill their chicken needs elsewhere."

I know that I am making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary, but come on, KFC. Oprah talked about this-- you had to anticipate some volume. Next time, design a non-shitty way to get people to come in to your store.

Frustration Friday

Fair warning: if you don't want to hear about my wedding problems-that-might-not-be/seem-like-real-problems, you're welcome to skip today's post. I am feeling like Crazy Wedding Lady today, which is extra upsetting because I have been working pretty hard not to be her. At the very least, it's tiring.

Wedding "problem" the first: The Tasting.
The menu that we have chosen for the wedding is what qualifies as "mid-range" at our venue, with passed appetizers during our champagne cocktail hour, whatever salad we end up choosing, four entree choices, and a cake. I love that the cake is included, and it was pretty easy to select what we wanted. I am happy that we will have passed appetizers, so that people can mingle while the reception is being set up (in the same space as our ceremony, so we'll see how that goes). As our date creeps ever closer (163 days, what the hell), I thought it would be a good idea to try to set up a tasting, so I emailed the "new" catering director (the old one had retired, unexpectedly. Maybe there was some sort of catering coup?) to see what we needed to do. She replied to my email, telling me that a tasting could be arranged for two people (rather than the at-least-three that we will need), and that these two people could taste two appetizers and two entrees. Now, I am not a math whiz...but that is half of our total entrees. We are not paying $85 a head for me to have tasted half of the fricking food. When I brought this up in a recent in-person meeting, she said they would "see what they can do." I hope that "what they can do" is let us sample the food we're paying for...or someone is going to get slapped.

Wedding "problem" the second: The Room Block
I was excited to plan the wedding in a hotel, not just because this particular hotel is cool, all historic and art-deco-y, but also for the major convenience factor. Just imagine-- our out-of-town people might not even have to get cars! Ceremony, reception, brunch...all at the same place! How exciting. My stepfather, being an excellent haggler, looked into the rates for blocks of rooms at the hotel back in January, and was quoted two fairly decent prices, one that included breakfast and one that did not. When I inquired a few days ago about the prices (not knowing that StepDan had already asked), I was quoted prices that were...higher. Not astronomical, but...higher. I was also told that all of our guests would have to be at the same rate-- that is, we would have to decide whether all of them would be required to pay the rate that included breakfast, or have to pay $14 per person extra for the breakfast. Now, I have never worked in a hotel, so maybe this is more complicated than I think...but how hard is it to allow people to pay two different rates, that allow for different amenities? I'm sure that regular guests do this all the time, right?

Overarching wedding "problem": Am I a Crazy Person?
My biggest issue (or, if you are as Completely Over Planning Your Wedding as I am, and just want to Be Married and Go On a Honeymoon) is that this woman is in charge of basically my entire wedding day. Sure, we are hiring hair and makeup people, a photographer, a dj/pianist, and a florist, but at the end of the day, she is the Boss of the Space. She could be licking my cake, or cutting off my pigtails while I'm taking a spelling test, or whatever other evil things her mind might come up with. I have worked in customer service, so I get that there is likely a good deal of annoyance with Certain Customers. But I'm trying really hard not to be Certain Customers! I need some consistency, and reasonable accommodation with regard to preliminary wedding stuff. Jebus lady, just let me taste all my food and not charge my flying-across-the-country-in-a-shit-economy guests eleventy billion dollars to eat a breakfast they don't want. Is it possible to assertively ask for the things that I think I reasonably deserve without being seen as Crazy Bitch Bride?

I know you have opinions, internets...lay them on me.

What I am doing today

Sending out about 80 of these puppies...



I guess this means we have to get married now, right?

End-of-semester grace

All right, it's not technically the end of the semester just yet, but I have definitely hit The Wall. You know, where an entire semester seems interminable, and you're exceptionally grateful that the school you attended for undergrad was on the ten-week quarter system? Yeah, that Wall. I have hit it, and I still have about 30 pages worth of papers to write. But...I was an English major, and am fluent in b.s. Time to power through!

As the semester winds down and spring is just beginning (complete with entirely inappropriate 90-degree weather), I'm finding it easier and easier to find those bits of Grace in Small Things. Take, for example...
This is Fluffy. He lives on our bed, and is almost as old as I am. I think GP's mom was kidding when she asked child-GP if he was going to take Fluffy to college and then make his wife sleep with Fluffy, too...however, even as a kid, GP was not joking around when he said "yes." He may be annoyed at me for putting Fluffy on the internets, but I think it is cute and awesome that at least one dog gets to sleep in our bed. (For those of you keeping score at home, Fluffy is currently our only dog. Sigh.) He is a good companion, especially when certain fiances are on multi-day business trips.

I like writing thank-you notes much more than I like writing papers for school, perhaps because they rarely fall into the "10+ pages" category. Short and sweet, with the bonus of getting to use the rest of my "stock" thank-you cards before we break into the supply of wedding-specific thank-yous (which, you guys, match our save-the-dates...and are completely awesome). Few things are as satisfying as slipping a couple of these into the mailbox.

Nothing says spring like some pretty tulips, unless said pretty tulips are brought back from the store by a certain fiance after a lengthy-ish business trip (along with-- you have to squint to make it out-- a case of Diet Mountain Dew Code Red, because the man consumes soda as if his life depended on it). You know...I think I'll keep him. As long as he keeps up this bringing-me-flowers-as-a-Saturday-morning-surprise thing... (Sorry if you just threw up in your mouth a little-- we're getting married, I have to do things like that sometimes.)

Bonus grace: downloaded seasons of How I Met Your Mother! Alyson Hannigan's occasional over-acting aside, I am completely smitten. I know most of you probably already watch this, but if you don't...you should! Though it is weird to watch a show with a laugh track after years of Lost,HBO series, and cooking shows being my regular television diet.

This counts as the weekend, right?

1. Why do we have to work and go to school during March Madness? It seems that we would all be happier if we were allowed to just sit on the couch in our pajamas, switching between games and episodes of Unwrapped on the DVR. What, just me?

2. Constantly having a hair elastic around my wrist and taking off my ring when I wash my hands are now habits. The elastic thing is immensely helpful when I get impatient with my hair (gah, there is so much of it!), but I am probably going to be sorry about the ring habit. Every time I slip it into my pocket for handwashing time, I can just envision dropping it on the floor of whatever gross public restroom I'm in. But...is that better or worse than having it slip off my finger and go down the drain?

3. I have spring break next week, but it means very little to me-- I still have to go to work and my internship, so really I'm just getting a few free hours. Definitely not as exciting as undergrad spring break.

4. I had never heard the phrase "If you have to eat a frog, don't spend a lot of time looking at it. If you have to eat more than one, eat the big one first," until it came up when I was teaching a Study Skills class last week and it seemed a perfectly apt metaphor for procrastination avoidance. This probably doesn't mean that I am going to become someone who follows through on all the elaborate plans she makes, but at least I have that saying in my head.

5. I currently have five pairs of shoes hanging around the living room, the way I always do. Much to GP's chagrin. What? I'm working on it!

6. How was I to know that baking two dozen of those Guinness cupcakes was a bit of overkill? I got so caught up in the awesomeness of baking (and decorating!) with alcohol that I just kept filling the cups.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a crazy food experiment in which I try to make spaghetti carbonara with no cheese (it might get a little hairy, I'm not going to lie), tomorrow my plans include visiting a couple of wineries with our friends Davemanda and meeting another set of friends' new baby, and Sunday, I want to get some schoolwork done! Ambitious, I know, as there will be basketball on...and I am not so big on eating frogs, though I really enjoy the phrase.

What's cookin'

Sorry, I had to! I've been cooking/baking up a storm recently, despite the lack of wonderful, delicious cheese in my life, maybe even because of it. I don't want to have to cave just because I was lazy about thinking through my food options, you know? So, recently, GP and I have enjoyed dinners including bourbon-glazed salmon, chicken and dumplings (prepared in the awesome kitchen that was in our Tahoe rental a couple weekends ago), and pulled pork. The slow cooker? Is completely wonderful, and the meat was falling right off the bone, begging to be shredded and devoured. GP has done a pretty good job of that, because he's quite the team player. I've been busy with some baking, too-- first, some Thin Mint cupcakes (yes, I even cut some of the cookies into little wedges), and then, to be extra-festive, some Guinness cupcakes with Bailey's buttercream frosting (sans ganache filling, because I don't want to give my poor coworkers the sugarbetes). Aren't they adorable?

Been on any cooking adventures recently?

Peeved.

Don't worry, I won't be too much of a rain cloud. I'm beginning to get used to stupid daylight savings and hate life a little less, however...

1) we have new downstairs neighbors. They love to watch some television, which is always really loud. Oh, and of course they don't seem to have jobs. Shut up, I'm a grad student. Don't judge me! I have two jobs.

2) I managed to get a mild sunburn when we were in Tahoe last weekend. Not a regular, terrible, skin-peeling burn, though-- just a weird stripe that my SPF-ed makeup didn't cover along the top of my forehead. Trust me, it is a fetching look.

3) I was mildly misnamed on the invitations for our Giant East Coast Engagement Party. It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't the same name that GP's most recent ex has, or if GP's mom didn't have a habit of running every. single. thing. past us. How did this escape notice? Oh well...this is not a real problem. And really, if this is the worst wedding-related "disaster," we will have gotten off easily.

4) I have given up cheese for Lent. Which is weird, because cheese is sort of my religion, much more so than Jesus is. Mostly, I'm using it as a test of will, and experimenting with how long I can go without a cornerstone of my diet. I almost accidentally ate pizza for dinner last night-- but, luckily, caught myself and had a sub-par frozen thing of sweet and sour chicken. Cheeseless life is hard, yo!

Silver lining, though! Or, really, just unrelated things that are good in my life...yeah, I'm jumping on the "Grace in Small Things" train...

1) a just-made bed, with clean sheets
2) being done with my final Dialog assignment in Online Searching. Relief!
3) poached eggs on toast with Tabasco
4) Earl Grey with milk
5) Uggs, in chocolate, purchased on sale